Opening narration: Space... the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Snallygaster. Its final missions: to seek out new life and new civilisations - to drink new booze and new cocktails - to boldly snog whom nobody has snogged before...
Verse 1 (Original Series): Our crew answers a d'stress call, On Fermat they make a footfall, And 'neath its sun baked ro-ocky ground, A hidden illithid lab was found. They rescue a Solitaire, Make peace with the illithid there, Fleeing they fight some Mind flayer ships, Then it's home for - drinkies and chips!
Verse 2 (Next Generation): Poachers raid Hypatia, To abduct the beasts of land sea and air, Our epic crew intervenes, To-o u-uncover what's happ'ning there. Invicta, commits murder, Re-eplacing Ranger Keyser (dun, dun) [quick!] He runs, but from Dregg can't flee, And Sasha then cuts him free. Big Star, in his 'mech car, Provides them with bots of their own, Invicta, cruel as they are, Intervenes to bring them down. Battle ensues in the sky, But our crew wins and homeward they now all do fly.
(Regrettably, both themes go rather too high for my voice, but I did my best)
Verse 3 (Deep Space 9): A simple job, going awry, Leads to the Cap, wo-o-orking as a spy: Gangsters at war, In brotherly fight, They seek to find out who has the might. First side with Vin, BaSTARds him betray, He unleashes 'light, But Dregg saves the day, Tony meets up, puts them to the test, But ends under arrest. With both heads gone, who rules the mob? Who will ascend, to-o take on that job? Dregg is revealed, as the missing son - The mob for Team Ba-STARds... now... is won!
Part 2 can be heard here (as sung by me), but despite writing all the lyrics, I don't always get them right!
Verse 4 (Voyager):
On the Sea World of Gloria, you might find the Cultists of Purity,
(Sub)jectivus lived there, BaSTARds go there to find him and save him - or might that be to kidnap him? Could be! Wisdom the path that they must tread (But) Invicta would like to see all of them dead! (As) Dregg makes great show of stubbourness, The Captain now insights to the Universe, And sees! (In)victa prefers to kill the cult, one and all But our crew finds the Brain and then sends out the call, (As) Our gang choose to be pacifists, the Earth calls them renegades and terrorists, They flee! To Hypatia they run.
(Words in brackets are "orphaned" from the previous line to make it scan)
Verse 5 (Archer's Theme - Enterprise end credits)
When to Hypatia they retreat, Lots of dragons there they meet, The Suuuuuun Dragon, Fires his nuclear breath them on, [But] with the Captains former fling, Other dragons now they bring, So Sasha aims, Her 'lithid baby at his brain! (So now their ally's a Dragon).
Verse 6 (Discovery)
Sent from the future, so peace can be won, Send back Mothman, leading Sasha, to the sun. For Bastards to go there, ethereal have to turn, In that furnace, will the Snallygaster burn?
But saves from tyranny - Maybe?
And that's my 2000th post!
Last Edit: Jul 1, 2019 13:30:44 GMT -6 by johnpaul